‘Gents’ is a creative transcription of a conversation overheard in Liverpool Central Station’s Gents toilets on Tuesday 10 June 2014.

Phil performed a reading of ‘Gents’ as part of Bad Language, at Gullivers in Manchester’s Northern Quarter, on Wednesday 26 October 2016.



‘Do you recognise me?’

‘Er, your face is familiar…’

‘Where do you think you recognise me from?’

‘The footie?’                                                                                

‘Jail. Do you remember me?’

‘Oh, alright, keep it down mate.’

‘Do you remember me though?’

‘Yeah, I remember your face.’

‘How’s it going? It’s good to run into you, man.’

‘Erm, yeah, fine. Put all that behind me now. Been out five years. Just retired so mostly spending time with the grand kids and that, you know.’

‘Sounds good. I’m going back in four weeks…’ (He whispers the details).

‘Unlucky. No going back there for me.’

‘I’ll say you said hi. What’s your name again?’

Clearly uncomfortable and not wanting to divulge such information, he replies ‘Done with all that now. Look after yourself.’

‘Well good to see you man, maybe bump into you again.’

‘Hope not.’